Gurubaran

A fake intellectual called Gurubaran

Gurubaran looked excited. He had a brown envelope in his left hand and half a glass of lemon tea in the right hand. He sipped the tea and grazed the letter for the 14th time. you cannot call it a letter also you cannot call it a parcel. The cover had 24 sheets of white paper and only one line of message in the first sheet. The telegraphic message read "One eyed yogi will be arriving on 06-05-06 by Kaveri express from LA. Please receive at Egmore"

Why 24 sheets for a single line message? He also fruitlessly checked for any other encrypted message inside it. He referred to 12th class chemistry guide 'Ganga' and applied citric acid and other sweet smelling agents on all the sheets. Also he had problem in understanding the date. Since the date was just 06-05-06 he was not sure whether he has to use the "dd/mm/yy" or "mm/dd/yy" or "yy/mm/dd" or "yy/dd/mm". Different combinations generated in him different facial contortions and twirl in his stomach.

Also his worries doubled when he started to analyze how can yogi arrive at Egmore when he is actually coming from Los Angeles? And that too by Kaveri Express. Gurubaran was already weak in math, physics and chemistry. He dialed his friend, Giridhar, at Stanmore to explain this situation. Giridhar asked him to use Poisson distribution to find out Yogi's availability on all of the combinations.

Gurubaran thanked Giridhar and continued thinking Why not Tambram which is nearer to my home? Why Egmore?

whether the date is 6th june or 5th June or 6th may? Whether the year is 2005 or 2006?

With mounting curiosity Gurubaran called yogi's secretary Anita.


Anita used American accent mixed with Australian slang. Gurubaran could only say "Yes", "yes", "Oh", "thanks" and finally he told a big lie to Anita that her voice was breaking and before she could respond he switched off his mobile and broke his SIM card.

"How Anita will be looking?" occupied Gurubaran's mind.

Gurubaran opened his laptop and sent a mail to Anita.

He got the following out of office reply from Anita.

"Currently I am accompanying Yogi on his trip to India. For any emergency please contact Gurubaran, our offshore point of contact."

Gurubaran knew the repercussions if he failed to receive Yogi on the stipulated day. He might be asked to address a group of 2000. "Please save me from the nightmare." shouted Gurubaran!

Just then a firm hand pressed Gurubaran's Left shoulder.

"Are you Gurubaran?"


"Yes"

"I am the one eyed yogi", smiled a man with red color cooling glass. Yogi removed his glass extended his right hand for a shake.


"Hello Sir. Don't cheat me. Yogi has one eye closed. For you both eyes looks ok"

Yogi pinched Gurubaran's calf muscle and tickled his funny bone.


I have two eyes and I can use one or both or none.

I am totally confused sir.

Yogi laughed at Gurubaran and asked him to hop in the reverse direction. Gurubaran obeyed.

"Do not think too much. What you may see may not be true. What you think may not be true. That is why you think of all the possibilities. What did you do to the remaining white sheets? Did it not convey the message to you? Keep your mind empty was my message."


"Are you ready?"

Gurubaran stammered "frr..forr...For what?"

"For tomorrow's presentation" said Yogi. You are going to take 1 hour session for retired but angry IIT Civil department professors on Aerial structures.

"Sir...."

Knot - Me, All Else Kowsik (kowsik.ramachandran@gmail.com)