Silence - 2016

I am not a big fan of Martin Scorsese but I have watched his movies and some of them I have even enjoyed to certain extent. When I learnt about this movie recently I remembered his previous outing "The Last Temptation of Christ". That movie again had the same effect, it was not a great one but it was good. I have also read about his past with priesthood.

Coming to Silence I thoroughly loved this movie. It connect with me in so many levels. It is one of the most brutal movies I have seen. There were times when I had to close my eyes, it was so brutal.

It has a drama feel and sometimes I felt Andrew Garfield was a misfit but I forgot all about that after an hour into the movie. Yes it is a very long movie and you need lot of patience. I do not think it is also an easy movie to act.

I can also relate to this movie as similar things happens all over the world and in India it is in rising trend nowadays.

For me the movie had two levels. The first one is about God and other one is about us the humans.

One the first level, it asks important questions about existence of God, does God answer our prayers, what about the difficult times when silence was the answer to our prayers. Infact silence is the answer most of the times. We do not get what we ask for. While there was so many answers provided for not getting what we ask for in prayers it is still difficult why God would let down someone who is standing for his faith on him.

On the second level, we as human beings can be so brutal when someone disagrees with us even on a matter like God where it is difficult to prove materialistically his existence. They fight for a concept and torture someone who does not agree with the concept. They even go to the extent of mass murdering people without slightest hint of emotions.

The character who repeats the sin and comes back for confession every time also reminds us of ourselves.

Such movies while it helps you to hold on to your faith also can make you depressed about humanity of lack of humanity.

Definitely I thank Scorsese for making this movie and it will be an important movie in my journey of faith.

Covid 19

Never in our wildest imagination we would have thought the scenes from the movie Contagion will happen in reality. It is just close to some of the apocalypse movies we have seen unfold in screen. The lockdowns have made life real difficult. Things we have taken for granted came to grinding halt. I hope this doesn't result in anarchy.

Everyone looks at the other suspiciously. Every day the news only gets depressing. As I am writing I haven't noticed any silver line or anything promising.

Who would have imagined schools will be shutdown indefinitely !! Students were promoted by default. May be while we were students we longed for such a situation but when it is reality it doesn't look attractive.

People taking the name of GOD has reduced. People are only looking at doctors as GOD now. I have never heard of Church cancelling Sunday services.

All hell breaking lose in stock market.

I wish the situation improves and life returns back to normalcy. I wish I will get to read this blog and think back about these scary times. So many people have lost their lives they wont be getting another chance.

I hope there will be hope for the next generation,

Frustrated

Can you go and place cut outs or banners in the side of any road in London, New York or Los Angeles? No you cannot. You will be immediately booked.

There is one country in the world which gives that total freedom which no other country provides. Yes that is India.

But the interesting thing is whenever a mishap happens the officials will give a statement saying they didn't give permission for erecting that banner. There cannot be a much more incompetent statement than that.

In a day we can see so many banners for how many of them did the officials give permission or the erectors took permission? Zilch. Now how many people have been booked for not getting permission to erect banners? Zilch. As long as everything goes without any issues anything is fine in this country. When something bad happens these guys shirk their responsibility and say they did not give permission.

I would say these officials who didn't take action against people violating the law are bigger culprits than the offenders. These guys should be punished severely than the culprits. If only these idiots had enforced the law people will try to abide by the law.

Though "திருடனாய் பார்த்து திருந்தாவிட்டால்" logic is there policing is equally or more important for giving a reason for the robber to change.

Life has no value here in India. All over this blog you will see the same frustration. I would love to see those officials booked.

Success

What would someone consider as success in a persons life? When can someone say that the person has lived a successful life? What is success? Is it all about money or is it much more than that?

We call anyone who has earned more wealth as a successful person. Is that success all about? There are people who had more money but now they don't. So does it mean that success is all about earning more wealth and sustaining it? There are people with more wealth but tarnished name should we consider them in successful list?

Does GOD also play a role in defining success? There is someone who has earned more when he is 21 than anyone who is 60 but dies at 22. Will we call him a success? There is someone who has earned just enough wealth but lived till 80 and has seen granddaughters/grandsons children, should we call them success? A child who loses his parent young grows up to be a wealthy person is he successful or a child who cherishes his parents love and lives to see their parents complete their life can be called successful?

Is it all about to each his own?

A man who is not affected by how people define him but rather knows himself, should we call him a successful man? A man who lives in constant fear on how people define him but has more than enough wealth should we call him a success?

A person  who only has enough money for next meal but spends most of his wealth for others should we call him a success?

If we look at the broader picture of life it is very short. The life which seemed like a long one while we were kid looks like a very short one by the time we grow up. As we grow up we realise time is infact running faster than we thought. School years which seemed long now passes by very swiftly in a blink of an eye.

Looks like in the long run nothing really matters. Ecclesiastes in the Bible also laments about this but in the end everything is and illusion. I think only if we are given that chance to understand GODs purpose we will be have answers to some of the queries.

Impressive

After a dry patch of watching some not so good movies I chanced upon couple of movie which just impressed me in more than one way.

The first movie was "Doubt" starring Philip S Hoffman and Meryl Streep. Though the movie looks like based on true events I was glad it was not. It has some great acting from the stalwarts and it is a pity that Hoffman is no more.

The second one was "In the name of my father". This movie based on true events is scary. It is so difficult to think that the Police can go to any extent. It is scary to think that there can be so many innocents who might have lost their life framed as convicts, who might be currently serving their sentence in prison. The world is definitely unfair.

This reminds of 2 Kings book in the Bible where one of the Israelite King Basha spills innocent blood and how much the Israelite's had to suffer because of that.  Though there can be revenge for lost innocent lives, lives lost are lives lost. They never gets a chance to see that revenge is served.

Victory

Sometimes countries sign peace treaty after millions of life is lost in war. The people who lost their life never get to live to see that.

After lives lost it is announced that Sterlite will be closed permanently. If only this decision was taken few days ago?

Non-healing wounds

There is a saying that time heals everything but I guess even that comes with exceptions. There are indeed certain wounds which doesn't heal even after long time. Sometimes it can even become more painful. It's like once the damage is done it's permanent. Everybody gets one life and for many that is not a pleasant experience.

There's also another saying count your blessings sometimes even 1000 blessings cannot heal one disaster.

The "road not taken" feeling is for another blog.

Life Lost

A life lost due to idiots constructing arches in the middle of the road. All dreams lost in a second by a truck coming in the wrong side. If only they hadn't constructed the arch, if only the truck hadn't come the wrong way another person flouting the rule would have finished the job.

I remember this blog I wrote in 2008. Nothing has changed. Everyday I witness people flouting one way rule near Palavanthangal subway. Even if hundred people are killed these people won't change. Because of these people flouting rules following rules has become dangerous.

Sometimes

The Bible says

A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you. 

Psalms 91:7

Sometimes in reality the following does happen and you just wonder how to apply Psalms 91:7 for the situation you are in.

A thousand may flourish and stand at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will come only to you. 

Driving License

The step taken by the state government of TN is one of the most ridiculous steps I have seen. There are so many laws which are haven't provided the benefits for lack of implementation. Like compulsory helmet, not respecting red lights, speeding vehicles and not allowing people to ride in wrong direction. These are certain things which you can spot without even having to stop the people. You can straight away book them. Without coming up with strategies to implement existing laws stringently there is now a new law that everyone should carry their original driving license. I don't who came up with such an extraordinary vision. They must have thought through their ass to come up with such a law.

When everyone was saying we are not even feeling the existence of a government this government has proved they do exist.

With respect to center looks like they have their own agenda of hindianising entire India. Through NEET they are only fast tracking it. They have now made the state board education look like LKG. There is no problem with CBSE except it comes with enforcing Hindi across. Even the de-monetisation which looked good on paper looks like failure except for making our life miserable during those 2 months.

This thuglaq darbar is supported by thuglaq magazine as well.

Jealous

When I was a school going student I was jealous of college going "Annas" and office going "Appa". I used to long for those days when I will become one. When I became a college going Anna, I felt it will be better to do away with all the studies and be a job going person. The moment I joined a company I didn't get the happiness I was looking for. I am now jealous of my retired father and look forward to retired life. I know it will have it's own pain and I will not enjoy that life as well.

Life is full of pain. The only time we can be happy is the first 3 years before we join school when everyone's attention is on us. When we fall down so many hands will rush to help us. When we cry even a stranger would want to comfort us.

After that even your parents will not come to comfort you when you are crying at a strange place called school. It only gets worse with teachers start acting like dictators, showing favoritism to some. The pain only worsens.

Medical Care

Today I took my daughter to one of the leading ENT hospitals in Chennai. She has been suffering from breathing problems and I took her there to get a second opinion as one other doctor had recommended surgery.

In the net I could see positive as well as negative comments on that hospital but still I wanted to give it a try.

One thing I observed is from the moment we step in they have already decided the prescription which is nothing but surgery.

The chief doctor was not even interested in writing any prescription. His motto was take the surgery or go back to Pediatrician for medical prescriptions.

It was sad he doesn't even want to try few medicines before opting for the knife.

It is very sad the way the whole thing was treated.

For no reason a blood test was recommended and only later I realised that even blood test is also for checking if the child is fit for surgery.

The entire set up was like running a business. A consultant meets you first and recommends lot of tests. The chief meets you with the test results and spends just few minutes before transferring you to another assistant whose job is to explain you in detail about the surgery. They put so much pressure on you that you are tempted to opt for surgery right then.

Such treatments makes you lose the faith on doctors.

I have to say I also saw few doctors who were very open in saying "this is normal no medicine is needed". But unfortunately we feel those doctors are not good. We are to be blamed for this mentality.

One Way

A road is marked as one way. I go in wrong direction in that road. I will be caught by the police and punished for rule violation.

A road is marked as one way. A police vehicle is parked and police looks upon when people go in wrong direction. They don't take any action. Now shouldn't they be punished for breaking their rule which is to catch those breaking the laws?

In India laws are made by police and not by constitution. The ones made by constitution are just in papers.

கறுப்பு பணம் - 2

மோடி 500 மற்றும் 1000 ரூபாய் நோட்டுக்கள் செல்லாது என்று சொன்னபொழுது இது நிச்சயம் நல்லது என்று நினைத்தவர்களில் நானும் ஒருவன். ஆனால் அதை செயல் படுத்தியவிதம் அந்த எண்ணத்தை பொடி பொடியாக்கிவிட்டது.

இந்தியா போன்ற கட்டுமானத்தில் பின்தங்கிய நாட்டுக்கு இது சரிப்படாது. குறிப்பாக சென்னை புயலில் சிக்கிய இந்த நாட்களில் இது தெளிவாக புரிந்தது. எங்குமே அட்டையை உபயோகிக்க முடியவில்லை. காரணம் தொடர்பு சாதனங்கள் இயங்கவில்லை. ரூபாய் நோட்டுக்களை இல்லை. இதனால் தொல்லை அடைந்தவர்களில் நானும் ஒருவன்.

இன்னும் வங்கிகளில் கூட்டம் குறைந்தபாடில்லை. நம் நாடு ஒன்று இப்படி ஒரு சர்வாதிகாரியிடம் மாட்டுகிறது அல்லது ஒரு முதுகெலும்பில்லாத ஆட்களிடம் மாட்டுகிறது .

ஆனால் இதுவரை தமிழர்கள் மட்டுமே இழித்தவாயர்கள் என்று நினைத்திருந்த எனக்கு வடஇந்தியர்களும் சளைத்தவர்களில்லை என்று உறுதி செய்யப்பட்டு இருக்கிறது. 

Nungambakkam

It's going to be difficult to utter this stations name in future. How much ever we try we will not be able to ignore the horror which happened.

The scary part is there is a guy roaming around the city who committed such a atrocity in broad daylight. He might just be walking very close to us in road or travelling right next to us in the train or sharing a cup of tea in a tea stall with us.

So many questions, so many thoughts, so many emotions. I am only reminded of Death this post. Everything seems meaningless.

Follow up

When I decided to pen this blog I didn't realize the previous post was on the same topic.

The train stopped between Nungambakkam and Chetpet. The already sultry weather in chennai was making it uncomfortable to sit inside the train. Outside a dark black sewage was running where once was a river. I started getting restless and started cussing. I was getting late to the beach. My precious time was being wasted by this useless train.

Suddenly I heard some commotion outside. I could see some people standing and observing the train. This is a sign that something bad has happened. Within few minutes I could see some people carrying a guy by his arms and legs. His dresses were torn. My initial thoughts was that the guy must be drunk and some fight might be going outside. I could see them carrying them little further. There was no sign of the train starting and it was getting even worse inside the train.

Within few minutes there was another set of people and they were carrying another guy. He was not in good shape either. I could see the first group has placed the guy on the ground and it looked like the guy was sitting on his knees and the people were inquiring him. After sometime they were carried further towards parked share autos.

Someone inside said "They were standing close to the rails and the train rubbed them off".

The train moved and I heaved a sigh of relief. Now I can go and spend some time at the beach.

I went to the beach and also had samosa channa.

Today I read that the two guys I noticed, being carried away were students of a certain college and were aged 19. They were indeed run over by the train in which I was travelling. The article also said that one guy died on the way to the hospital and other succumbed to injuries at the hospital.

Death

Sometimes the sperms die before they meet the eggs - Infertility
Sometimes it is killed - Spermicide
Sometimes it meets and life is born and aborted - Abortion
The fortunate or unfortunate one makes it through all this and is faced with this chaotic world. Shocked, it enters with a cry.
Some succumb, to various diseases waiting to take it away to where it came from.
To make the first birthday it's a big struggle.
It struggles to hold its neck, to turnover, to crawl, to sit, to stand, to walk. It's a struggle but it manages.
Even before it can reach 2 it's pushed into PreKG. It's a struggle.
It has to be in school at time when even it's father will still be in bed. It's a struggle right from PreKG to LKG to High School to Higher Secondary. Then college to job to wedding to having it's own baby to death. The path is not rosy.
At every stage the struggle only gets tougher.
Some die half way making all the struggle they went through to reach that stage just meaning less. All the struggle goes in vain. There is absolutely no meaning to all the suffering.

Alumni

Though I am a person who gets lost in nostalgia for a considerable time everyday I for some reason is not always comfortable with Alumni meetings. Individually the childhood memories sound sweet but collectively it looks scary. I wonder how people manage such meetings. Where there is a crowd there is definitely a trouble. Most of the people today can make you go tired just by one simple "hi". I know some might consider me as one such person but that is how things are. The more we stay away from people the more peaceful it is. There are people who tend to give unsolicited advice and turn you into a killing machine (inside your mind). There are some people who think bad about you when you don't provide unsolicited advice.

It is a tough place. It is for a good reason GOD has not made man eternal. 

Throughout

I notice that many things have changed in my life. If I look at my life from my childhood till what I am now I can see I have changed, the world around me have changed, the people around me have changed. But I can see couple of things haven't changed. One is feeling the presence of GOD and second is feeling the presence of Satan. Though they are two extremes I can feel they come hand in hand with me. I can exhibit Satan sometimes and the same me can exhibit GOD sometimes.

Gone too soon

The title of this blog is a line from one of MJs songs. I have been noticing from my childhood people dying when they were still young to die. First such event to which I witnessed was the death of one of my friends father. I still remember going to his house on the way back from school wondering what I will say to him when I meet him. It also left me wondering even at that age why should he be fatherless for the rest of his life and how difficult such a life would be when greater percentage of the population including me doesn't have to go through such a tragedy.

People keep dying when it is not time to die. Is there a right time to die? Is it above 60 or is it above 70? Some guys live long enough to see their children's children's children while some die right while being born. For a larger population to be happy there is always a marginal percentage of people who go through suffering.

There are Champagnes which costs more than some people could earn in their life. When people are born in this world everyone is entitled enjoy the resources of this world but some people struggle for even the basic necessities such as water and air while another section gets to enjoy the choicest items of this world.

The world is not a fair place which also make it very difficult to understand the entity who created such a place but only the hope on such an entity makes it easy to go through each day.